Carrie's posterous

lists

stuff i'd rather forget

stuff no one wants me to remember

stuff that remembering will make me forget

stuff that forgot itself but remembering wants said

stuff that the forgotten ones would have me remember

stuff that the truth the truth has held and never forgotten

stuff that forgot me

stuff that remembers me

stuff that is no longer stuff but is the

stuff of memory

my father's chuckle

my laughter unlaughed tears not yet shed

forgiveness not yet extended

stuff not found in the world of form

stuffless stuff

like that, yeah.

Colorfast

COLORFAST

 

It'll stay, it means

not to go to bleed

nothing at all to do with speed

fast so as not to spill, then fade

to not wring out its hue

turn the whites blue

or some other shade not its

and itself, so pale, color, fast! not to blend in

awash in potent loss

Rather,

hold in by a thread

what dying meant 

to give

A way to say, to stay

over the long haul

first slow tick to last

hold color in, steadfast 

MASCARA

 

more face,

yes

Balk less.

To demur, not deign to 

a pedestrian falsity

you snub your own pugnacity

most urgent to artistry-- the ordinary.

strange, the two cowardices

to fail to face up and so face down what might care 

not to fade

its foil- a most fearsome fact:

two seers, too-brave peer from where flies out

Here, I am

Charity...and freedom begin at home

Not a woman to be bested by a sink full of dishes, 

I averted their scorn by fleeing the kitchen, pronto.

Instead, today I chose 

to walk outside, to toss the Skinny Minnie to the pup til she was plumb worn out, 

to read my Robert Parker paperback  sitting idly on the grass while it is still light

outside.

Generally, and quite modestly, to

break every single Saturday rule I know. 

Great so far. 

A tidy space and clean dishes are welcome here, but when they cost your life, it's

time to re-do the to-do list. Whitman knew loafing. I aim to learn.